All of us, at some point in our lives,
begin to search for better ways In essence, psychotherapy
is the "talking cure"! …A process of
finding personal solutions, by giving voice to your
deepest feelings, in the presence of a trained practitioner,
in a safe, non judgemental, caring environment. Allowing
buried fear, rage, sorrow, or any other feeling, to
surface, in a guided encounter with your own self…letting
go of destructive behavior patterns, & learning
the skills required to live in new, authentic, meaningful,
"Psychological" problems emerge from difficulty
in grappling with conflict between inner & outer
reality. The solution lies in healing the inner landscapes,
rather than changing external ones.
Let me explain…
Think back to your childhood…
To some people, it may have been a luminous, magical
space, of pure delight.
To others, a time of humiliation, a source of wounds,
terrors, abandonment, rejection, punishment…
To most of us, childhood was some mix of these two realities.Around
these early experiences, and around the expectations
of our parents and the conventions of our culture, we
construct a sense of self,[often referred to as the
EGO]. This sense of self is invariably erected around
the wounds of childhood, as a kind of protective scaffold,
as well as a response to our perception of the conventions
of our world, & the [stated or secret] expectations
of our parents.
So, the sense of self is essentially a false, hybrid,
rickety, jittery structure, created by ourselves as
a survival strategy in childhood, often before we are
six years old!!
On this shaky foundation, replete with cracks &
fissures, rests our life. This fragile blueprint contains
within it all that we have learned about the world,
our place in it, & our mechanisms of survival. This
is what continues to determine how we will deal with
the circumstances of our life, & the paths that
we will choose to travel.
Unfortunately, most of us live out the rest of our lives
as victims of this creation of our own panic, &
the pressures of our society. It may be unsatisfactory,
but in our ignorance of any alternative, we keep struggling
to prop it up.
The tragedy of 'society' is that it seems to be designed
to keep us trapped, exactly at that pitch of panic &
desperation at which we will go on & on struggling
to fulfil the demands of the self we have created !!
Psychologists now believe that nervous breakdowns, schizophrenia,
paranoia, drug or alcohol addiction, desperate love
affairs, panic attacks, rage, depression, asthma, nausea,
chronic illness, cancer… are all symptoms of an
unacknowledged & hidden hunger to escape from this
inner prison, & live an authentic life .
Therapy, therefore, requires a healing of the inner
wounded child, & gently leading it into a free space.
When I was seventeen, one of my teachers gifted me a
copy of "KNOTS" by the noted psychologist
& said to me, " The best thing that can happen
to you is to have your breakdown when you are young!
Slip it in before you are twenty one, keep it until
you are forced to search for another reality. Don't
wait, like me, for a mid-life crisis…and arthritis"!
I did not understand what she meant, & ignored her
words. Until fifteen years later, when the painful contrast
between my inner self & external reality, drove
me to take a good look at my life, & find ways to
transcend the obstacles I had unknowingly placed in
my own path.
Psychotherapy is a process that helps to look honestly
& clearly, at your own self, & propels a search
Helps you to take responsibility for your life, your
actions, your feelings, your health, your happiness.
Helps you to get in touch with your deepest feelings,
& release the vitriolic effects of repression from
Helps you to re-claim your freedom & true identity,
by identifying & changing harmful, destructive behavior
Equips you with tools for change.
In the beginning, psychotherapy was a process of analysis.
An "armchair" or "couch" process.
In the past twenty years, psychotherapy has moved into
HEALING people, rather than CURING symptoms.
Many practitioners have introduced other modalities…
Spiritual practice, meditation, dance, music, body work,
massage, exercise, drama, art, writing… support
the inner work, making the journey an exciting &
This is all part of being at Akhaldans!